Hollywood London’s LifeStyle & Social Affairs Editor Fykaa Caan wants a “Happy New Me” for 2015 – we start with the journey to HAPPY
After saying goodbye to 2014, it gives space for some real time to reflect. Time is of the essence and flying by so quickly. From now on the intention is to grab the opportunities coming with both hands. 2015 is going to be the year for change to set some conscious goals to get the life you want.
I broke down the letters from Happy New Me to create some positive tips. I figured Happy New Me can be said all year round and at any point, I wanted to have something fun and easy to remember which I can say, implement and practice regularly.
Let’s start from now, “2015 is going to be the year I work hard to achieve my goals and milestones and will be the year I enjoy the most by playing even harder”
The first thing I need to do is take back control.
Look after my body, I only get the one model (sat here wishing I really wish my body was like that of a model lol) I am going to sleep, think, eat and drink better. Check my blood and get the right vitamin supplements to get my health back on form. Start having the correct 7 a day fruit and veg. I will exercise and incorporate 10 minute stop times for meditations and relaxation.
Why? Because the brain is the central entity responsible for all your thoughts, feelings and actions. It is responsible for everything; consciously and unconsciously in your body, yet we allow it no rest. When was the last time you did nothing – no thinking, worrying, fiddling? Your answer, like mine, is probably never.
Step 1: Engage in an Emotional Check-up. What is the predominant mood that you’ve been experiencing – angry, joyful, stressed? Do you seem unusually down lately? If so, is there a good reason for it? You might think that these questions are common sense, but most people don’t take the time to do an emotional check up on themselves. Also, it’s important to check your expectations of yourself, situations, and others. Are they realistic? Often people have expectations that just can’t be fulfilled, and they set themselves up for feelings of disappointment or frustration. Make sure that what you want is realistic and achievable.
Step 2: Are you practicing mood-balancing strategies (Behavioural)? The key to emotional equilibrium is to behave in ways that create balance. Ask yourself if you have been doing anything on a regular basis that helps you to feel grounded. These strategies generally fall into three categories:
Mind: Let yourself take a “mental break”. Some examples include Spirituality and faith, relaxation, daydreaming, listening to music that you enjoy, or taking a day for yourself.
Exercise: Research shows that exercising regularly three times per week for at least 6 months can yield the same benefits as taking an antidepressant.
Food: There is an abundance of research documenting the link between what you eat, and how you feel.
Step 3: Are you thinking for success (Cognitive)? We always have a running dialogue going in our minds, even if we aren’t aware of it. It’s important to tune into your inner dialogue every now and again, and make sure that the messages you give yourself are healthy. Having a positive attitude goes a long way to creating an optimistic outlook on life.
If you scored lower than you would like to in the three areas, don’t panic. Emotional equilibrium is something that is ongoing. Choose a few small steps that you’d like to try, and go from there. Making very small adjustments to your routine or consciously changing what you think about yourself can make a huge difference!
Just try STOPPING and give 10 minutes a day dedicated to breathing, relaxing and doing nothing.
“We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.”
How often do you pause to appreciate what you have in life?
When I was young, I took things for granted. Sometimes it’s easy to feel bad because you’re going through a tough time in life. However, remember that no matter how bad your situation may seem, there are tens of thousands of things to be grateful for in life. Below is a simple list of things that I’m grateful for in my life. Most of the items, if not all, will apply to you too. I’m sure as you read this list, you’ll think of many more things to be grateful for.
Here are sixty things to be grateful for in our lives:
1. Your parents – for giving birth to you. Because if there is no them, there will not be you.
2. Your family – for being your closest kin in the world.
3. Your friends – for being your companions in life.
4. Sense of sight – for letting you see the colors of life.
5. Sense of hearing – for letting you hear trickle of rain, the voices of your loved ones, and the harmonious chords of music.
6. Sense of touch – for letting you feel the texture of your clothes, the breeze of the wind, the hands of your loved ones.
7. Sense of smell – for letting you smell scented candles, perfumes, and beautiful flowers in your garden.
8. Sense of taste – for letting you savor the sweetness of fruits, the saltiness of seawater, the sourness of pickles, the bitterness of bitter gourd, and the spiciness of chilli.
9. Your speech – for giving you the outlet to express yourself.
10. Your heart – for pumping blood to all the parts of your body every second since you were born; for giving you the ability to feel.
11. Your lungs – for letting you breathe so you can live.
12. Your immune system – for fighting viruses that enter your body. For keeping you in the pink of your health so you can do the things you love.
13. Your hands – so you can type on your computer, flip the pages of books, and hold the hands of your loved ones.
14. Your legs – for letting you walk, run, swim, play the sports you love, and curl up in the comfort of your seat.
15. Your mind – for the ability to think, to store memories, and to create new solutions.
16. Your good health – for enabling you to do what you want to do and for what you’re about to do in the future.
17. Your school – for providing a environment conducive to learning and growing.
18. Your teachers – for their dedication and for passing down knowledge to you.
19. Tears – for helping you express your deepest emotions.
20. Disappointment – so you know the things that matter to you most.
21. Fears – so you know your opportunities for growth.
22. Pain – for you to become a stronger person.
23. Sadness – for you to appreciate the spectrum of human emotions.
24. Happiness – for you to soak in the beauty of life.
25. The Sun – for bringing in light and beauty to this world.
26. Sunset – for a beautiful sight to end the day.
27. Moon and Stars – for brightening up our night sky.
28. Sunrise – for a beautiful sight to start the morning.
29. Rain – for cooling you when it gets too warm and for making it comfy to sleep in on weekends.
30. Snow – for making winter even more beautiful.
31. Rainbows – for a beautiful sight to look forward to after rain.
32. Oxygen – for making life possible.
33. The earth – for creating the environment for life to begin.
34. Mother nature – for covering our world in beauty.
35. Animals – for adding to the diversity of life.
36. Internet – for connecting you and others despite the physical space between you.
37. Transport – for making it easier to commute from one place to another.
38. Mobile phones – for making it easy to stay in touch with others.
39. Computers – for making our lives more effective and efficient.
40. Technology – for making impossible things possible.
41. Movies – for providing a source of entertainment.
42. Books – for adding wisdom into your life.
43. Blogs – for connecting you with other like-minded people.
44. Shoes – for protecting your feet when you are out.
45. Time – for a system to organize yourself and keep track of activities.
46. Your job – for giving you a source of living and for being a medium where you can add value to the world.
47. Music – for lifting your spirits when you’re down and for filling your life with more love.
48. Your bed – for you to sleep comfortably in every night.
49. Your home – for a place you can call home.
50. Your soul mate – for being the one who understands everything you’re going through.
51. Your best friends – for being there for you whenever you need them.
52. Your enemies – for helping you uncover your blind spots so you can become a better person.
53. Kind strangers – for brightening up your days when you least expect it.
54. Your mistakes – for helping you to improve and become better.
55. Heartbreaks – for helping you mature and become a better person.
56. Laughter – for serenading your life with joy.
57. Love – for letting you feel what it means to truly be alive.
58. Life’s challenges – for helping you grow and become who you are.
59. Life – Be thankful to God who is giving you the chance to experience all that you’re experiencing, and will be experiencing in time to come.
And last but not least… #60:
You} for being who you are and touching the world with your presence.
Detox the body, soul and mind from the negative thinking patterns
Ever get your mind stuck in a bad groove? Negative thoughts going round and round your head for hours, days, weeks: “Why am I so… unhappy, stressed, struggling, skint, thin, fat, Why did they do or say that and why didn’t I do that and blah blah blah ______” [fill in the blank or delete as appropriate]!
Doing this is toxic, especially if we’re already feeling down. It’s a serious block to our happiness, both now and in future. But the good news is that research shows it’s a habit we can break. Learning to stop getting stuck in negative thoughts is a vital skill for a happy and fulfilling life. If we’re feeling down it’s helpful to be honest with ourselves and reflect on the reasons why. But research shows that over-thinking or chewing over negative thoughts for too long increases our sadness, unhappiness and pessimism. What’s more it saps concentration, motivation and initiative and affects our ability to solve problems. In other words, it makes us even more stuck and unable to see a way forward. The more we get stuck the closer it takes us into a downward spiral that leads to hopeless thoughts, such as: “I’ll never be any good”, “I’ll never find a job” or “I’ll never find a partner”. These can lead to loss of confidence, anxiety or even depression.
A similar type of destructive and negative, self-focused thinking is comparing ourselves to others. “She’s richer”, “he’s thinner” “he’s got a bigger house”, she’s got a promotion” and so on. We’re surrounded by images of the rich and famous, so much so we forget they’re not normal. With the exaggerated stories and glossy photos we often miss the fact that the people we see as successful are often struggling with their own problems too. However successful, clever, rich or beautiful we are there will always be someone with things we don’t have that we might think we need to be happy. But what’s clear from scientific studies is that this this way of thinking isn’t the route to happiness. So we need to learn to detox our negative thoughts.
Top Tip – write down your negative thoughts however do write down your positive thoughts also and highlight them above and over your negative ones, and with the negative thoughts cross a line through them and write next to it, the opposite to that thought and then highlight that thought…… this will start to show you a pattern of your thinking process and how you can start to eliminate thoughts of bad feelings thus being thoughts of guilt, anger, criticism, revenge , ridicule, hate, jealousy, resentment, worry, depression and fear……
Change your FEELINGS and EMOTIONS to positive thoughts and shift your mind into a good thought pattern process such as thoughts of; joy, happiness, gratitude, love, passion, forgiveness and of course love…
The mind is a vehicle a tool only. For example if your car crashed, delving deeper into what was wrong with the car mechanically over and over again in your mind would be pointless especially if you have escaped injury and are ok. A good thing to do when you can feel yourself getting anxious is to start by focusing on your breathing this gives your mind something else to concentrate on, then become aware that you are the awareness that watches your breathing and your thoughts this may help you to detach from your thoughts, focusing the energy down into your body instead of all of it being in your head.
Upon applying these few simple but very important techniques and managing those negative thoughts you will start to form a much better and meaningful lifestyle.
Why do it? Human beings need to be at an emotional equilibrium in order to move forward. Time has a way of rapidly passing if you don’t monitor it. Today, consciously think about where you want to be in 1 month, 3 months, 6 months and 1 year. How do you want to feel physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally at those landmarks?
Decide the method you’re going to implement to feel that particular way. Write them down; post them somewhere visible, somewhere significant to you, as a reminder.
Aim to improve insignificantly each day with your landmarks and goals in the forefront of your mind. Improving yourself by even as little as 1% each day is insignificant, but that’s all you need. Don’t try and climb your mountains every day. Instead, take three steps and rest. At the end of year, you’ve improved 365% and you’re at the top of the mountain, well rested, stress free, and happy.
Reevaluate- Businesses release their results quarterly to show their progress, strengths and weaknesses and general hiccups. Become a major business. Every three months, revaluate your life.
The questions I ask myself:
• Have I been living congruently through my landmarks?
• Am I fulfilled with all aspects of my life? If yes, continue on your path. If no:
• What can I do to reevaluate and reinvigorate to achieve my next landmark?
Take time each quarter to assess your progress, your strengths and weaknesses and your hiccups. “Where am I faltering? Where can I improve? What is the biggest thing holding me back from achieving my goals?” are all questions you can ask yourself multiple times a year.
This year, like last year, will be tremendously different, if I allow it to be. If you do, 2015 will be your year.
I am going to de-junk my life, cleanse my mind, self-improve, manage my lifestyle, get organised, stay on top of finances, value time and boost my home harmony and show family what they mean to me. I intend to take control of me. Feeling powerless has been a major cause of stress and it is the choices you make that determine whether you are running your life or your life is running you.
I am going to take care of myself and have those well-deserved manicures, pedicures and facials. My mantra will be if you look good, you feel good and I will reinvent my wardrobe to power dress.